Trent and football

Well, as most all of you know, I was going to have both boys playing on varsity this year. First of last week, Trent said he didn't want to play, I could tell he was really struggling with it...he wants to work (still working for the vet's office), and do his horse thing. Which I totally understand. We talked about it forever, cried, etc. - Rick was just totally depressed about it, so I told him if he was going to quit, he had to go up the morning of 2-a-days, which was yesterday, and talk to the coach. He did, left everything amicable. Course trying to explain to him that it's only 3 months out of the rest of his entire life didn't get anywhere, but I told him I was disappointed, of course, that he wasn't playing, but that we still loved him and was proud of him.

Well, he came home after work last night, and had cleaned out his locker, looked kind of weird about it... I asked him, are you all right, do you think you made the right choice? He says, Mom, I don't know now, then hands me his name plate off his locker... okay, I couldn't help it, I lost it. I'd been trying not to get upset about it, but I just lost it.

So I talked to him some more, Rick talked to him (course he squalled too on seeing the name plate), and Mom called and talked to him. He's changed his mind, he's playing football. Then I was even more worried, thinking that maybe he felt pressured because we were upset. I don't know if he would've regretted playing or not playing, but I told him, hey, it's only 3 more months of the rest of your life that you'll ever play football, ever in your entire life....he had a weird look on his face this morning when he left... I looked at him and he says, don't worry, Mom, I'm fine...

I know something like this won't kill him, but still, ya know...it'd be different if he wasn't good, but dang, that boy can play football! I got a call last night from a bunch of the senior mothers who were just flat upset as we were, saying how upset their sons were... that they felt like giving up and quitting themselves because Trent had quit. Trent was and has always been the leader on the defense except last year, where he played straight offense, and a good friend of mine's son was always the QB and leader on offense. He talked to one of the coaches last night, and another one called me this morning already. They're super excited to have him back, but one asked me, do you think he'll quit again once he starts. I said, absolutely not. Once Trent starts something like this, he doesn't quit, hasn't he always given you 110%. Well, yes, but... I told him real quick, that because Trent was coming back, he probably saved them from losing at least 4 or 5 more seniors. Oh, he says, I didn't know that. I said, yep, now ya do!

So I was torn that he wasn't playing... now I'm torn that he is thinking that because he saw us get upset, he's trying to please us... which bothers me... ARGH! You know, as parents sometimes, you think... criminey, am I doing the right thing here....and I so hate to see one of my boys in pain or worried about something.

I think Mom will be doing some hovering for the next week or so...

Bless his heart. Are sure he's not doing this for you all and not what he wants? Will he lose his job, that he enjoys? We all know not easy finding a job we like. When you said, He said its not fun anymore that was a mouth full.

Sheesh...thats rough!

Man oh man - those decisions are so hard to make and I KNOW that when I made a similar one (not in football obviously) it was tougher than all get out to present it to my mom...she was SO happy when I was doing all of that and was not overly thrilled that I quit that and poured all of my time into my horses/dogs/judging... I told myself that if I had something in mind that she liked (the judging and dogs) then it was more likely that she would understand...WRONG...

She kept asking me if I was happy - etc... - I finally asked her flat out if she wanted me to start back up again...she said, "I just think you were happier then" - I'm a smarty pants so please forgive what I replied, "I was happier because you weren't walking around sulking all of the time asking if I was really happy"...my poor mums...she just wanted me to be doing stuff I loved... I really DID love it - I just felt like I had gone as far as I could go, win as much as I could win, and in all honesty didn't feel that it was the BEST investment of my time...

I have NO regrets...glad I quit...glad I didn't rejoin! But it was rough...really rough!

not to discourage you but my hubby lost out on a promising career in baseball as a result of football and the injuries one can incurr as a result, maybe you need to sit down with him and really have a heart to heart and see what is the true reason he is playing if he gets hurt and he is playing and you don't know you may blame yourself for a long time to come football injuries last a lifetime.... just a thought not meant to be mean but to make you reflect- take it for what it is this is high school not the rest of one's life.
My hubby regrets his choices and he made them himself w/o any pressure.

My son just started football yesterday too. They are going from 10 in the motning til 8:30 at night so when they get to two-a-days next week, that will be a relief!! My son doesn't really like it either that much but he feels pressure from his friends on the team and the coaches, because he is also big and talented(he's a tight end). I would be just as happy if he didn't play becuase I also worry about him getting injured. Basketball is his true love and I would hate to see him miss the season with an injury.
He has been getting football letters all summer from colleges, and while he is flattered, he told me if he doesn't get a basketball scholarship, he just won't play anything in college, because he doesn't want to spend four more years playing football!
I know if he didn't play though this year he would regret it. It's hard to sit in the stands. There is a fine line for parents. We want them to succeed but we also want them to be safe. I will be glad when football is over!!

Well 7C you already got my opinion.. Things like this are a choice.. We all make them. Some good and some not so good. Just a part of growing up. OH, heck, even grown up we make some not so good choices.. It's all about what we do about it after the fact..

I just think it's wonderful that your young men talk to you and care about what you think. This really gives light to who you are.. You should be very proud of how you have raised your sons..

Just remember one thing for us girls.. You are raising future husbands and fathers. Make sure they know how to cook, clean and do laundry.. OH, and don't forget... SPOIL THE WOMEN THEY LOVE...

Update. I called Mom this morning, and her and I talked about it for at least 2 hours...trying to justify things, and then trying to make some kind of freaking sense out of it. Should we feel bad/should we not, etc. Mom went through this with me when I quit everything my senior year, but then I turned around, and got real heavy into shorthand and typing, went to state in typing my senior year, so that was a little different.... but I had quit band and track... asked Mom today what grandmother thought, and she said (which I do not remember at all) that grandmother felt like pinching my head off because I quit band - she didn't care about the track, but she wanted me to get a scholarship for band -- well, I wasn't going to college for band... cuz I was already engaged my senior year... part of the problem - REMEMBER THAT YOU YOUNG'UNS!!!!

Anyhoo, so I waited for the boys to come back after practice today... well, how'd it go... coaches said they were glad to see me back... well, what'd the guys say? He said 2 or 3 them said they wouldn't maybe quit now since I came back... knew that was coming. That surprised him, he didn't understand how much the other guys looked up to him... DUH! So I say, how'd the rest of it go? You know, Mom, he says, I did some of the summer stuff, but it didn't really bother me - he says, it's kind of fun knocking those freshman on their arse! And I thought, oh, Lordy, here we go... Dillon says, yeah, Mom, tell Trent to quit being so mean to the freshman, they all hate him now... like that really bothers Trent... I said, oh, they did the same thing to Trent and you, the other seniors, they'll live... well, Mom, they won't, when we all put on pads come Friday... well, yeah, that's just part of it...

But yeah, I hear all of you on the injury deal. Trent's a lineman, so they're not as apt to get hurt as receivers, runners and QBs... thank GAWD! And Trent is a bull... course there's always bigger bulls in other pastures...

But imagine this, what we're accustomed to... here's a child that since 7th grade, has played both ways, may come out at the most 2-3 plays a game, just to take a breather, and then back in; he lead in defensive tackles his 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th grade year. Last year, he started on offense. As a freshman, he got pulled up to varsity the second game... and every SINGLE time he was in - I kid you not, the next play was a touchdown when he played on offense! This is a kid who has a talent, super talented, there's no quit in this boy, he's mean, he's strong, but the mean and the no quit in him is what keeps things going for him (give you a guess where he got that from)... he inspires his teammates, is his "little" brother's inspiration. I mean, this is just flat a kid that you aboslutely love to watch... that's why this whole thing has been so hard. Rick's sick about it, because even though Rick was real good in football, Trent's tons better (different attitude, you see).

Now, imagine this other scenario, both starting positions... you're looking on the field on offense. You see the center, and there are both my sons on either side of the center protecting the QB. Then on defense, they're right beside each other, off cate-corner from the center... now I'm telling ya, that whole scenario... the year that we've been waiting for... as a parent it just doesn't get any better than that!!!! One's got the mean, one's got the bulk....

But on the other hand... Trent is me all over again. As I told him last night and this morning... son, you'll never understand how proud we are of you, no matter what you do, so long as your'e doing something, and you'll never understand it until you have kids of your own, but that even though we had accepted you weren't going to play, I'd already told you up front, this was going to be so hard on us, not seeing you out there. And Lordy, Mom brings her walker, half the time has to stay down on the grass, but no way in the world would she miss one of the boys' football games! Even plans her surgeries around football. Course, Dad's right there screaming at the top of his lungs... me, too... HA!

There's nothing better than hearing your son's name called out over the loud speaker... yep, that's my boys! And to see them sack the QB... oh, man-oh-man....and when they come off the field... you can bet your butt I'm the first they come to, they know the drill, I get hugs from both of them first... always with tears in my eyes from the pride. Hugging and holding both my boys with those pads on when they come off that field... well, it just doesn't get any better than that! And they're not involved in any other sports, just football... wish it was B-ball, too, but it's not... dangit. Course always during 2-a-days, everybody else might be throwing up, but not mine... nope... Mom's done worked 'em too hard during the summer....they're in super shape!

All football players hate 2-a-days - and I danged sure don't blame 'em! WHEW! But once they start playing and school starts, it's not that bad.

But we'll see....Trent ought to be home in a minute and I'm fixing to talk to him some more....I'm just worried sick that he'd regret quitting - I didn't, but doesn't mean he won't.