TEN WAYS TO GET IN SHAPE TO OWN A HORSE

Number of posts : 51 Registration date : 2007-02-12

TEN WAYS TO GET IN SHAPE TO OWN A HORSE
>
> 1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right
away
>and shout "Get off, stupid! Get off!"
>
> 2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "relaxing into the
fall."
>Roll lithely into a ball and spring to your feet!
>
> 3. Learn to grab your checkbook out of your purse/pocket and write
out a
>$200 check without even looking down.
>
> 4. Jog long distances carrying a halter and holding out a carrot. Go
>ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know
>now.
>
> 5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice
pulling
>it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
>
> 6. Hone your fibbing skills. "See hon, moving hay bales is fun!" and
>"I'm glad your lucky performance and multi-million dollar horse won you
>first place - I'm just thankful that my hard work and actual ability
won me
>second place."
>
> 7. Practice dialing your chiropractor's number with both arms
paralyzed
>to the shoulder and one foot anchoring the lead rope of a frisky horse.
>
> 8. Borrow the US Army slogan; "Be all that you can be." As in, you
can
>be ... bitten, thrown, kicked, slimed, trampled, etc."
>
> 9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes
and
>repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning
>experience..."
>
> 10. Marry money.
>